Pirate Jokes Aren’t Funny

A Powerful Blueprint for Authentic Leadership in a World Built for Sameness

Leadership today is a costume party. The best masks win—and it’s killing innovation, trust, and teams.

In Pirate Jokes Aren’t Funny, leadership strategist David Pettrone Swalve exposes the cost of performative leadership and reveals how authenticity has become the most valuable advantage in today’s Quantum Workforce Era.

A biracial adoptee from the rural Midwest, Pettrone Swalve learned early how systems reward sameness and silence difference. From the discipline of West Point to the boardrooms of Fortune 500 companies, his journey from outsider to architect forged the Authentara Blueprint™—an eight-part system that turns identity into action and presence into measurable impact.

Whether you’re leading a team, a company, or your own next chapter, Pirate Jokes Aren’t Funny is your practical, defiant map to leadership without a mask, building authentic trust, and getting real results.

$28.00
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ISBN: 979-8-89138-765-2
SKU: 18-1498-01
Categories:New Releases, Business and Finance, Leadership and Management, Inspiration and Personal Success

“To call this just another leadership book would be like calling the Bible just another story about religion. Pirate Jokes Aren’t Funny tears apart the very fabric of how corporations operate. It is a revolutionary manifesto—one that exposes the real root causes of why people say ‘my boss sucks’ and why leaders fail. If you lead anyone, read this before it’s too late. And if you’re being led badly—this is your Magna Carta.”

—Doug Ligor, former director, RAND; assistant chief counsel, ICE; and deputy chief counsel, US Department of Homeland Security’s Citizenship and Immigration Services

“This book is the antidote to performative leadership. Pirate Jokes Aren’t Funny invites leaders to stop performing and start embodying their presence. In a world that rewards conformity, this is the rebellion we need.”

—Kate Purmal, cofounder, Archimedes Venture Studio; executive coach and advisor

“I spent decades leading soldiers and leaders—and I wish Pirate Jokes Aren’t Funny had existed when I was still in uniform. This book does what most leadership books don’t: provide a framework that’s both real and actionable. This isn’t theory. It’s what leaders actually need right now—transparency, selflessness, and service grounded in who you are, not who you’re pretending to be. If you’re leading people, read this book.”

—Lt. Col. Nathan E. Barto (ret.), US Army and entrepreneur

“Pirate Jokes Aren’t Funny dismantles the myth that leaders succeed by fitting in. In the Quantum Workforce Era, authenticity isn’t optional—it’s the only path forward.”

—Lee Epting, executive coach and former Fortune 500 technology executive

“Leadership today demands more than performance—it demands authenticity. David Pettrone Swalve understands this truth at a cellular level, and Pirate Jokes Aren’t Funny delivers a framework that is both visionary and actionable. I can attest that David’s insights are forged in real-world complexity and tested across diverse contexts. This book is a call to courage for leaders everywhere and a map for those ready to lead without compromise.”

—Col. Michael P. Hosie (ret.), PhD, leadership strategist

David Pettrone Swalve

Leadership Strategist and Coach

David Pettrone Swalve is a leadership strategist, author, and founder of Authentara™, a leadership ecosystem redefining how organizations build trust, culture, and measurable results through authenticity.

His leadership perspective was forged at West Point, shaped through international research fellowships in Europe and Africa focused on leadership and economic development, and tested in Fortune 500 boardrooms navigating complexity and change.

He is the architect of the Authentara Blueprint™, an evidence-based framework that helps leaders replace performance with presence and turn inclusion into measurable impact. His debut book, Pirate Jokes Aren’t Funny: A Powerful Blueprint for Authentic Leadership in a World Built for Sameness, challenges outdated leadership systems and offers a clear path toward authentic, high-performance leadership.

When he isn’t coaching or speaking, David can be found scuba diving, playing guitar, or exploring coastlines and mountains with friends and family. Wherever he goes, he champions those once told they were “too much,” proving that authenticity—lived fully and led boldly—remains the sharpest edge in modern leadership.

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